i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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