she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
