we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
