I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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