I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
only if we run a train.
done.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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