I CAN MOONWALK!
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
