i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
