Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
