Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you win again, gameday.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
