Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The best revenge is premature balding
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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