It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
