You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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