my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
