i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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