So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
