Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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