it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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