I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
