Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
