So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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