I wish I could teleport
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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