I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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