I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
