new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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