so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I still have a little drunk in my system
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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