I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
