If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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