so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
