There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
