the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I forgot how hot balto sounded
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize