pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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