We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
