Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I have aggressive nipples.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
