we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
