somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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