Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
