Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
