did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
40s are totally the cure
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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