I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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