you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
