I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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