So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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