The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
