Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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