he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
