i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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