So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
