I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
