Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize