Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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