I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
