Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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