Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize