I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
