if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize