Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
