Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
