you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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