also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
