did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
